I was coaching a client this last week on how and why she gained 2 lbs back.
She said that her neighbor dropped off a large zucchini.
She made chocolate chip zucchini bread from the gift.
And ate some.
I asked her why.
She said she didn't want it to go to waste... Then she said there are hungry children all over the world and she thought if she didn't eat it she would be ungrateful.
Do you do this too?
I thought this way for YEARS!
I grew up believing there was a Clean Plate Club...
Where I was encouraged, by my well-meaning mom, to eat all the food on my plate.
If I left a few bites, I watched my mom finish them off before rinsing the plates to put in the dishwasher.
It's so fascinating what we think of as WASTE. We think:
"If I don't eat this, it will go to waste."
"If I don't eat this, I'm ungrateful for what I have."
What if both of these thoughts are, not only not true, but sabotaging your goals and harmful...
It's true. You can lose weight...
Lose the weight that comes from feeling overwhelmed, worried, anxious...
Lose the weight of feeling stressed out in their relationships.
Lose the weight that comes from crushing financial situations.
Lose the weight of feeling so busy with a chronically overbooked calendar.
Lose the weight that comes from their inability to follow through.
Lose the weight of feeling out-of-control with anger, frustration, or depression.
Lose the weight of feeling like you're a slave to your food cravings.
Lose the weight of not showing up the way you'd like to in your life.
Lose the weight of anxiety and sleepless nights.
Lose the weight of feeling like they have no control over their health because their families aren't supportive of the changes they'd like to make...
You can lose weight and not feel any lighter if...
You want to make that... CHANGE!
I will spare you my Michael Jackson impersonation and save it for another day... :)
Do you want to know one of the biggest reasons people give up?
Think of your transformation journey like this:
You are currently standing on the edge of a river and you want to get to the other side...
...On the other side there's a carnival with pony rides and cotton candy.
It looks amazing.
So you head out to swim to your destination (the carnival on the other side, of course!)...
...You may even feel 'ready' since you've got your floaties and flippers.
"Let's do this!" you say to yourself.
So you take a step into the river.
But you're determined so you keep going so you get completely wet.
But there are some pretty big obstacles that you didn't count on...
...You knew it would be cold, but the river is frigid; the current is much stronger than you planned; there are RAPIDS!!!... and SHARKS!?!?...
Do you have this story that you 'should' know something already?
I hear this often from my clients. They're frustrated with themselves that they "haven't figured *this* out yet!" (whatever this is in context to what I'm coaching them on.)
Maybe for you, it's calendaring your time - and then sticking to the plan
Or exercising and knowing which routines to do on which days for maximum benefit...
...maybe it's just cooking from scratch or losing weight.
None of us marched out of the womb with playbooks in hand on how to do life.
If you don't know how to do something or you're not as good as you'd like to be - join the club!
Despite what you've heard, you CAN teach an 'old' dog to do new tricks. :)
What's not helping is heaping judgment and shame on yourself that you're not adulting correctly because you don't know how to do some things.
(BTW, that's everyone... Even my dad, who really seems to know...
I used to drown in my own self-doubt.
It was crippling.
So I'd try to gain confidence in my big scary goal through someone else's belief in me.
For example, I'd ask my husband what he thought about my dream... and he would say something nice and encouraging.
But I never felt better and I didn't believe any more than before...
Because that's not his job. It's MY job to believe in ME.
The truth is: no amount of someone else's belief in your goal is going to change your self-doubt or motivate you to move and get it done if you doubt yourself.
What I've learned is that if I want to reach an impossible goal, I have to believe harder than anyone else in myself.
Self-doubt is human.
But we have the amazing ability, as humans, to change our self-doubt into courage and confidence and belief.
It might feel scary. Do it anyway.
Have a beautiful week! xo, Janeen
You've probably heard me say at some point that getting clear on your YESES makes your NOs so much easier.
But it doesn't make them EASY.
There's a difference.
If you decide at the beginning of the week HOW you're going to spend your time, for example, it doesn't mean your brain isn't going to protest when it's time to get your workout in. (mine did this morning!)
Same with your food. If you plan your food in advance, it doesn't mean you aren't going to be tempted to overeat.
So yes, MAKE A PLAN!
But also know the plan itself doesn't make the journey easy, it just means you've decided where you want to go.
Your brain is what determines the difficulty or ease of the journey.
If you're struggling, what's your story?
To be clear: this doesn't mean you have to change your story, but it might be helpful to see whether your story is serving you or not.
Let me share an example.
I used to really struggle to stay away from...
One of my favorite things all of my kids did when they were really little was play hide-and-seek with me. It was easy. They would just cover their head with a blanket and think because they couldn't see me, I couldn't see them. I always laughed!
As a coach, I notice my clients sometimes do this same thing with themselves and their circumstances.
They want to lose weight, for example, but they aren't willing to get on the scale to see where they are right now.
With our heads buried in the sand we can at least pretend it's "not so bad." We try to fool ourselves into thinking we aren't hurting or we don't care as much as we do.
I totally understand that there's often a painful story filled with shame and regret around facts - I have told myself these stories many times. But first, that story is optional, and second, if we can't learn to objectively look at our starting line, it's really tough to...