Being Honest and Objective About Your Starting Point

mindset Feb 17, 2022

One of my favorite things all of my kids did when they were really little was play hide-and-seek with me.  It was easy.  They would just cover their head with a blanket and think because they couldn't see me, I couldn't see them.  I always laughed! 

As a coach, I notice my clients sometimes do this same thing with themselves and their circumstances. 

They want to lose weight, for example, but they aren't willing to get on the scale to see where they are right now. 

With our heads buried in the sand we can at least pretend it's "not so bad." We try to fool ourselves into thinking we aren't hurting or we don't care as much as we do.  

I totally understand that there's often a painful story filled with shame and regret around facts - I have told myself these stories many times.  But first, that story is optional, and second, if we can't learn to objectively look at our starting line, it's really tough to overcome the hurdles that are keeping us stuck and move forward.  

Hear me say this: You are NOT your circumstances. You are not the numbers on the scale, the numbers in your bank account, the food you ate today, or anything else.  

The facts don't diminish your worth or mean anything about YOU.  (And beating yourself up about WHAT IS is totally unnecessary and, again, optional!)

Learning how to accept exactly where you are not only gives you a starting line, but more importantly, it gives you an opportunity to be compassionate with yourself - what you've been through and the choices you've made.  

This is challenging because we worry if we open our eyes to what's real and things get worse, we won't know what to do! We often despair and think all is lost! 

The problem with this is we want to make changes!  We have good reasons for why we want to improve our lives, take better care of ourselves, and set our futures selves up for success with better choices today.  

But we feel stuck and confused. 

One of the things I hear a lot is, "But I just don't know where to start!" 

A lot of that confusion and overwhelm would be eliminated if we knew where we were starting! 

If you can relate to what I've said, I want you to know something:

The reason why it feels so hard to accept reality is because you're resisting so hard. 

Resisting hurts. 

It causes so much unnecessary pain and suffering. 

Resisting really is much, much harder than acceptance. 

The reason why most people resist is because they feel like if they accept reality they're giving in or they're resolved to be where they are for the rest of their lives.  

The opposite is true.  

Accepting the truth, gives you a clear idea of where you are and where you want to go. 

It has nothing to do with your ability to reach your goals. 

Being upset and in denial is hard.  Trying to control other people so you feel better is hard.  Worrying, judging, and feeling powerless is HARD! 

Accepting means staying compassionate, being curious, and loving yourself. 

It's the first day of your journey toward your goal. 

It's not worrying or judging. 

It's relaxing, breathing, and loving.

It's a whole lot easier than resisting. I promise you it is!

(I think it's one of the reasons I love my yoga practice so much - it gives me an intentional place to practice this exact thing! Just sayin!  :-) )

Try it: Breathe. Relax and soften. Easy. 

Now what? 

Have a beautiful week!  xo, J

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