Our fears keep us stuck.
Sometimes we don’t recognize them as fear. They play in our subconscious brain somewhere and often we don’t even put them into words, but they are still there. And we all have them.
I noticed a fear right before I sat down to write. “What if I sit down to write and nothing comes? … Who am I to think I have something special or different to say?” blah blah blah
What do YOUR fears sound like?
What if I try (again!) and I don’t get the results I want?… what if I actually gain weight?!… what if someone sees me in the gym and makes fun of me?… I don’t belong there!… Yoga pants? Are you kidding me?!
My guess is that if you are not taking good care of yourself, you feel a twinge of pain or guilt about it. (I hear this a lot: You know you “should” be doing a better job, but… you’re not getting around to it.)
You might even have a problem or two (or ten) you wish were different (weight gain, annoying skin issues, energy is low, you wish you felt sexier or more confident…).
I have all the clients I work with start with a Symptoms of Illness questionnaire. They rank each issue on a scale of 0-10 and then add up their score. I’ve had people start with numbers close to 400! It’s not a very fun exercise, but this helps us focus on what needs to change AND it is also a great way to see how much improvement has happened over time. It’s easy to have something that was a real nuisance be an 8 or 9, but when it’s only a 1 or a 2 we feel like it wasn’t that big of a deal to start out with. It’s hard to remember when we have our health back just how miserable things were before.
Over time, we get familiar with all our problems (all 400+ points of problems!). We don’t like them, but we can deal. Sometimes we may feel like we have an understanding with our problems. If we don’t do anything – they won’t *cross our fingers* get any worse. Hopefully. But if they do, then we will do something about it. (…or will we?)
It’s kind of like a lousy job. We put up with it! If we made the effort to get hired somewhere new and… it’s WORSE?!?… then what are we going to do? We might be trading one annoying boss for another one who’s a micro-manager or someone who doesn’t let you have any time off. It can always be worse, right?! We’ve GOT these problems! They are under control. We might be worried if we start mixing things up we are going to open up a whole new can of worms that could potentially be worse than what we’re dealing with right now.
We’re at a standstill (or is it a stick-em-up?)… NOBODY MOVE!!!
We talk ourselves into feeling like this is an okay norm when it’s not!!!
You deserve to have the best health possible!
We don’t slow down to think, “what if I do make some changes and… my life totally changes for the better?! WHOO HOO!… I could have more energy… I could be setting an amazing example of health and vitality for my kids!… I could feel so much more confident!” …What about that, huh?!
As long as our fear goes unchecked, it continues to rattle around in the background on a subconscious level – making noise, keeping us from moving forward in a big way. It continues to own us.
So how do we break out of this fear rut?
One thing that has really helped me is to take my fears a step further.
One of my coaches used to say, “You’ve got to take your fears out to tea.” When she first said it I didn’t know what the heck she was talking about. But now, I love this phrase! Because first, it is easy to remember, and second, it removes the scariness of addressing what you’re afraid of. It’s tea! It’s going to be a lovely time, really, I promise.
We can actually use our fears to start building some momentum and really break free from using them as an excuse to stay put. Here’s how:
#1. Bring the awareness.
You can do this by simply asking: What am I really afraid of?
Failure. Looking dumb. Not knowing what to do. …?
Sounds simple, but take the time to really explore ALL your answers. Like I said, so often these little annoying fears never get addressed yet they take up residence, affect our energy and keep us stuck.
#2. Go deeper.
Ask yourself, what’s the worst-case scenario?
If “failure” was one of your answers, explore that further.
Does that mean, you start a routine and you can’t keep up with it? Or that you actually gain weight? Or maybe you’re afraid of getting hurt using weights or doing something new you’ve never tried? Write it all down.
#3. Make a plan.
What if your fear actually happened?
Let’s say you started and couldn’t keep up with the routine, what would you do? You could try something else until you figured it out or could ask a friend who is getting the results you want for some tips.
Or let’s say the fear is that you actually gain weight? Could you switch gears and focus on your diet or reach out to someone who knows more than you do about trouble shooting your weight loss (this is not commiserating with a friend who also struggles with weight loss, this is not that. But an expert).
When we take the time to “take our fears out to tea” they will lead us to the obstacle that is keeping us stuck.
Now it’s your turn.
What is your biggest fear regarding your health?
Please leave a comment below and let me know.
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